[m.olson]

Today I’m meeting with a broker to (hopefully) get pre-approval for a home loan. It’s pretty terrifying to look at your life in terms of dollar signs and expenditures. This process made me realize just how organized I actually am when it comes to my important documentation (taxes, insurance and bank statements, etc.) I’m really nervous, but also really excited. I’m learning so much and I’ve barely begun!

Wish me luck!

(Source: icatchfoxes)

So this evening I’m touring a house. It’s really adorable and has the potential to be an amazing place to reside. Previously I never imagined owning a house, but with the current market in Fresno and the rent rates (and the career growth/love of my job/new band/etc) it seems like I’ll be sticking around for a little while.

I’m fairly certain if I find a place I can afford and is in a location I like that I’ll be moving in the next few months. I suppose this is a signifier of my growing up? What even? How? Anyway — my plan would be to live there for awhile then let a rental management company take care of getting me tenants whenever I move away/to another place/etc. I guess this is as good a place as any to document my search for my first house.

For the record this is pretty terrifying and weird and in almost all aspects completely unexpected. However, I feel good about it and am pretty excited to be making a solid investment in something that I’ll have for the future.

There are plans for a trampoline in a yard under a tree as well as an amazing hammock. So, that’s something.

(Source: icatchfoxes)

All I’ve ever been striving for is a really good story. I live my life and make my decisions based off my ability to remember the things I’ve done. I want my life to be something interesting enough to be documented, written down, remembered. Isn’t that all anyone wants? Enough good stories to feel like they really lived? All my life is when I’m gone is a story, and I don’t want it to be something cast to the wind…

I try things. Sometimes I fail. I trust in people who sometimes I’m warned not to, but honestly, those people are the ones I end up keeping around the longest and end up trusting the most.

I make mistakes, I may say no to some stories and some stories may have said no to me, but I keep going and keep writing things down. Nothing is more important to me than that. This is now and I’m busy crafting a tale that I can be proud of, that I would want to share were someone interested in listening.

I want to be better, I want to stay hopeful, I want to travel and explore. I want to meet new people, I want to listen to the weather, I want to fall asleep in new places and wake up every day with wonder. Why would I ever want it to be any different?

(Source: icatchfoxes)

It might be this music.

It might be this shirt.

It might be these photographs.

It could be all these things.

It could be none;

there’s no way to be certain.

[Why don’t I sleep any longer?]

(Source: icatchfoxes)

PROXIMITY

Where items are placed in relation to each other is another important gestalt consideration. Proximity relationships will generally dominate over similarity relationships. The strongest control is available when the two are used together.

There are four specific types of proximity relationships that will be studied in this lesson: close edge, touch, overlap and combining.

So similar and proximal. Is half better than none? Probably. I just can’t help but get the sense that the asymptote reference is also fitting in this situation. Never touching. Similar things, symmetrical things, mirror images hurtling through space toward each other only to never be close enough. I hope I’m wrong. I just can’t help but be cynical. I’m not a penguin for crying out loud.

I’m really not a penguin, which is actually a pretty upsetting realization if you think about it.

[this post is from the fall of 2009. I re-read it looking for an old photo this morning and I really felt like this is all entirely applicable still.]

I’m still not sure why, but my G-d I hope that look on your face was real: so humble and sincere. Your face told me clearly that your only goal was to make me smile, to bring me joy for even one moment.

Still, there has to be a reason they were balloons, right?

(Source: icatchfoxes)

it’s important to remember that the world still has the potential to surprise, amaze and excite me. people are still amazing things, and some are full of wonder, hope and interesting stories.

[keep listening. keep pushing against the ordinary. keep swimming. THIS IS WATER.]

(Source: icatchfoxes)

[or a recollection gathered up while driving the 99-S, again. in no particular order:]

• It’s so much easier for me to wake up early in a room without blackout curtains.
• The danger is why it’s any fun.
• Never enough pizza.
• The trouble of recovering from an upper respiratory infection makes for a good reason to throw a tiny yellow box out the window.
• I need a better mattress; better sleep is worth it.
• I’m comfortable liking the things I like; even when others disagree. Guilty pleasures are kind of silly. As Hilary taught me: why should I feel guilty for something I legitimately like?
• I need more train rides, more plane rides, more bike rides, more rapid city walking…
• Why are hash browns so much better from a drive-thru window?
• Sometimes I just don’t care that my phone exists. 
• My hands make me vulnerable.
• I should send more postcards.
• That girl in the quirky glasses, bowler hat and oversized sweater HAD to have been Alexis Bledel. HAD TO HAVE BEEN.

(Source: icatchfoxes)

A general list of all the things:

• I absolutely love bowling. It is one of my all time favorite things and I can never bowl enough. If I ever win the lottery (which I don’t play, so this is completely impossible) I would buy a house just so I could put in lanes.
• I like to consider myself to be a responsible person in the broadest sense.
• I take risks and do things that aren’t always considered “safe,” but not in a way that is damaging to myself or others. Most times, it’s the opposite.
• Sometimes I’m reckless, always I’m ruthless.
• I have some really good friends here. I love them. All of them. They’re amazing individuals and I’m so so lucky to have them.
• I have some really good friends far away. I love them too. Even the ones who have chosen to let our communications subside. I still love them. All of them.
• I dislike drama and have recently decided to try and discontinue my over-analytical tenancies in favor of more listening and more observing the actual events taking place around me.
• I drink too much coffee, not enough water.
• I have recently become completely obsessed with motorcycles and the idea of riding them across bridges and/or directly adjacent to the sea.
• I like how often my camera is in my hands lately. I like it a lot.

(Source: icatchfoxes)

Lately I’ve been discovering what I really want from a lot of aspects of my life. I can’t believe how clear it has become in the last few weeks and how easy it feels. Being honest with myself has been something I always struggled with, but when I stop worrying and taking into consideration what someone else would do, it becomes clear. I know what I want. I’ve known what I wanted, but made excuses about things because I thought it was what was good for me. Maybe it was. It was. Everything in my past has brought me here, and I regret absolutely none of it. I can’t imagine being anyone else, and I don’t want to be anyone else.

These last few weeks I’ve been told by many (strangers and friends alike) that I have the spirit of someone driven to make a positive change and make it well. It’s been humbling really: the fact that some aspect of myself I’ve been so desperately wanting to be at the core of my being finally is, and others can tell… it’s amazing. That sounds really selfish and boastful, but I just can’t describe how much peace it brings to feel so content with my life and who I’ve become. 

This is moving forward, full speed, cut the anchors and go: keep laughing, keep loving and keep sharing.

(Source: icatchfoxes)

Everyone I spent time with in the last week made me remember why I feel so lucky to come from Northeast Ohio. For so many reasons, I am counting down the days until I can be back in the heavy humid air of my hometown.

Standing on top of a parking deck all alone, watching cars drive by below, closing my eyes and feeling the gusts of wind wrap around me that night really instilled in me the motivation I’d lost. I miss going out to photograph alone, going to learn more about myself without any tether to anyone else. Just me and my camera. I really feel confident after this week that what I want is attainable, and more importantly: it’s something that needs to happen.

Sometimes [read: most times] life is really quite surprising. I got tired of waiting around, so now I’m going to do something. Today I looked at the difference between property ownership and property leasing for retail/commercial space. If you know me at all, you might have an inkling of why I’d be doing such research. If that inkling has anything to do with an idea I became fascinated with 5 years ago, you are correct. Stay tuned, big things are coming in the next few years. I’m only 25 years old, and I’ve got a lot left to achieve.

(Source: icatchfoxes)

Truck drives by. It starts to rain. Cop drives up slowly, rolls down window, states simply:

“You better jump down now.”

We might as well have been standing up there for 3 years.

(Source: icatchfoxes)