I'm Melissa. This is where I write things down and share new things. Sometimes I even post cute pictures of cats...
if you're looking for my portfolio,
it can be found here, or by clicking any of the links across the top of this page.
I just moved back to Ohio after living in the central valley of California for almost three years. People still mention that I'm all grown up and keep asking how being an adult is going, but I really don't know what they're referring to.
I'm officially a (self-proclaimed) curator -- OF GIFS. GIF CONNOISSEUR. Check it out. My GIF blog even made it to buzzfeed once.
ONE MORE CHECK OFF MY LIFELONG INTERNET TO-DO LIST.
Albums of note UPCOMING/2011/2010/2009
A list of albums from the year that had staying power. Not a top album list, because I haven't heard every album, so that just seems a bit silly to me -- the whole "of the year" thing... although I suppose in my own mind that's what they are...
THE ARCHIVES
Nostalgia
a place where I keep things that are already memories and store things that are currently in my life that will inevitably become memories. Vague enough?
Vestiges of a Life Soon Forgotten
A photographic series devoted to images taken in and around my apartment where I lived for 3 years in college. I moved out for good in December 2009.
Photobooth Sketches
photobooth documentation of sketches i have done and/or found.
Monthly Self Portrait Series
This was a short-lived project that sometimes shows up without warning again on my feed, but definately cannot be considered an "on-going" thing.
My New California Life
What started as an essay series about my experiences living on the left coast turned into a general account of my life here -- through words, photos and other ephemera.
jef etters tips of the day
Jef Etters was a colleague of mine who gave me life tips on a daily basis via a telephone call from a rotary phone. I would then transcribe the tips and post them here for the benefit of all mankind. He didn't know what tumblr was (nor does he now), but he did want to share all his wisdom with the world. enjoy.
PLEASE NOTE: Jef did finally get free long-distance after 7pm EST and will occasionally call to give me tips to transcribe. Be on the look out, it'll change your life.
ScreenCaptureSeries
Funny and or poignant things I feel the need to share with the world via screen capture. This project carries on with the luck that the internet will continue to bring the lulz. I think the odds are in our favor.
It’s vitally important to keep your brain exercised by thinking thoughts. For example, I was just thinking, if you’re not supposed to mix business with pleasure, why do they call it “getting busy?” Enjoy!
[jef etters tips of the day: FIRST TIP OF THE SECOND EDITION #049. as recorded by m. olson]
YOU GUYS. Jef has agreed to start giving advice via my blog that he’s barely seen again! He has agreed to the following, in his own words: “I was thinking I could write them individually on scraps of paper, scan those in, print them out, mail them to you, then you could type them in.”
YOU ARE SO EXCITED, AREN’T YOU?
Try to lower your expectations for the new year. If you don’t try new things, you won’t fail at new things. Just keep failing at the old things, that’s comfortable and you can understand that. There’s always next decade. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day: NEW YEARS EDITION #048. as recorded by m. olson]
If you forget it’s your dad’s birthday until you’re writing the date on a routing sheet at work, you’re a bad daughter. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #047. as recorded by m. olson]
If you are married, and you go to Jos A Banks because by yourself you can’t find an orange dress shirt anywhere that you need for this thing at work, and you wind up spending 90 bucks for two shirts, don’t feel bad. At least you got to talk to that girl in boots and a short skirt who you couldn’t tell if she was in high school or college and who said you should get a blue shirt because you have blue eyes, even though you aren’t sure if your eyes are even blue. That’s not cheating, that’s just a memory for alone time. Heyoooo, Life tips! Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #046. as recorded by m. olson]
If you are feeling lonely, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Everyone feels lonely. If you are suffering from crushing depression and massive self hatred, don’t worry. you’re not alone. I feel that way right now. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #045. as recorded by m. olson]
Here’s a tip for the holidays! Make sure every gift you get your mom costs a little more than the gifts she gets from your brothers and sisters. Even if it’s just a few dollars. That way you win, because the holidays are really all about money and beating family any way possible. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #044. as recorded by m. olson]
Sometimes you are going to fall in love with a person who doesn’t share your political beliefs. It doesn’t matter, go for it! The other person in a relationship ends up being wrong about everything anyway, so you’re already halfway there! Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #043. as recorded by m. olson]
Here’s a fun game when you are standing in line at the post office. Pretend that you are standing in line at the DMV and suddenly things don’t look so bad now, do they? Enjoy!
[jef etters tips of the day #042. as recorded by m. olson]
When you’re home alone waiting for your wife to come after her grown up civic meeting, it’s ok to sit around in pajamas and watch Batman cartoons. She married you because you are creative, not because you are a man. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #041. as recorded by m. olson]
Here’s a life tip for the head of the household. Make friends with your local mail carrier! You don’t want to tick him or her off and wind up with too much pepper on your cable bill or a christmas card full of spit do you? Mailmen are people too. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #040. as recorded by m. olson]
It’s fun to think about superpowers; What you would do if you had them? Would you help others? Would you steal sacks of money with dollar signs on them? Would you turn invisible and hide from the world until you died of old age? That’s what I would do. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #039. as recorded by m. olson]
Here is a life tip for those who study magic. Listen jerkoff, you’re not so special just because you got a book out of the library that shows you how to distract me while you drop a salt shaker under the table in an effort to impress my ladyfriend.. YOU’RE NOT REALLY MAGIC. Enjoy!
[jef etters tips of the day #038. as recorded by m. olson]
