I'm Melissa. This is where I write things down and share new things. Sometimes I even post cute pictures of cats...
if you're looking for my portfolio,
it can be found here, or by clicking any of the links across the top of this page.
I just moved back to Ohio after living in the central valley of California for almost three years. People still mention that I'm all grown up and keep asking how being an adult is going, but I really don't know what they're referring to.
I'm officially a (self-proclaimed) curator -- OF GIFS. GIF CONNOISSEUR. Check it out. My GIF blog even made it to buzzfeed once.
ONE MORE CHECK OFF MY LIFELONG INTERNET TO-DO LIST.
Albums of note UPCOMING/2011/2010/2009
A list of albums from the year that had staying power. Not a top album list, because I haven't heard every album, so that just seems a bit silly to me -- the whole "of the year" thing... although I suppose in my own mind that's what they are...
THE ARCHIVES
Nostalgia
a place where I keep things that are already memories and store things that are currently in my life that will inevitably become memories. Vague enough?
Vestiges of a Life Soon Forgotten
A photographic series devoted to images taken in and around my apartment where I lived for 3 years in college. I moved out for good in December 2009.
Photobooth Sketches
photobooth documentation of sketches i have done and/or found.
Monthly Self Portrait Series
This was a short-lived project that sometimes shows up without warning again on my feed, but definately cannot be considered an "on-going" thing.
My New California Life
What started as an essay series about my experiences living on the left coast turned into a general account of my life here -- through words, photos and other ephemera.
jef etters tips of the day
Jef Etters was a colleague of mine who gave me life tips on a daily basis via a telephone call from a rotary phone. I would then transcribe the tips and post them here for the benefit of all mankind. He didn't know what tumblr was (nor does he now), but he did want to share all his wisdom with the world. enjoy.
PLEASE NOTE: Jef did finally get free long-distance after 7pm EST and will occasionally call to give me tips to transcribe. Be on the look out, it'll change your life.
ScreenCaptureSeries
Funny and or poignant things I feel the need to share with the world via screen capture. This project carries on with the luck that the internet will continue to bring the lulz. I think the odds are in our favor.
Survival life tip - if you are ever bitten by a poisonous snake, go ahead and cuss him out, you are about to die and nobody would blame you. That snake is a jerk. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #037. as recorded by m. olson]
Sometimes you are going to fall in love with a person who doesn’t share your political beliefs. It doesn’t matter, go for it! The other person in a relationship ends up being wrong about everything anyway, so you’re already halfway there! Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #036. as recorded by m. olson]
They say never a borrower nor lender be. I say, they sure talk backwards. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #035. as recorded by m. olson]
Here’s a tip for the fancy category. If you want to really live it up, ask for extra “au jus” the next time you take a date to Arby’s. You will also look like a big man on campus if you tell her that you know the owner, Gary Arby, and that “au jus” means “with it’s own juice” in french, the language of love. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #034. as recorded by m. olson]
There is a saying - if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. This saying was obviously coined by a loser who did not succeed the first time. Why would I listen to a loser? I wouldn’t. Therefore, I submit to you a new saying: if at first you don’t succeed, you are a loser and nobody should listen to your sayings. The end.
Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #033. as recorded by m. olson]
Tip of the Day, Sunday Funnies Edition - If your cat loves lasagna, you have one fucked up cat. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #032: SUNDAY FUNNIES EDITION. as recorded by m. olson]
Here is a household cleaning tip! When you spill something, rub club soda all over it. I don’t know what it does exactly but I heard somewhere that club soda does something. I mean, it’s kind of gross and you definitely don’t want to drink it. So just rub it on everything, that’d probably be best. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #031. as recorded by m. olson]
Tip of the day: 8-bit edition. I think Mario’s name is really Mario Mario, because those two are called the Mario Brothers and the other guy’s name is Luigi. So that makes Mario Mario and Luigi Mario. Right? I feel like this makes sense in a world where mushrooms talk, sure. Enjoy.
Relationship tip - if your best friend breaks up with his girlfriend and then later on she asks you to write life tips for her blog, go ahead. It’s good to love everybody, no matter what. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #029. as recorded by m. olson]
IT’S LIFE TIP TIME UP IN HERE! WHAT WHAT?! If your boss gives you a mini travel bottle of Dewars White Label Blended Scotch Whisky as a joke because you are flubbing your lines while filming a capabilities video for your ad agency, that’s pretty much permission to drink at work. Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #028. as recorded by m. olson]
When you are preparing to take a trip via aeroplane, please remember to be kind to your air steward and fellow passengers. Who knows, hurtling through the air at hundreds of miles per hour in a tiny metal tube may be the last thing you ever do! Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #027. as recorded by m. olson]
Everyone knows that birthday cake is the most delicious of all the cakes. I figured out a way to have birthday cake anytime. Adopt! Adopt! Adopt! Enjoy.
[jef etters tips of the day #026. as recorded by m. olson]
