January 2012
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The Little Girl and Her Father Sitting Across From...
I sat down to fill out my form and a little girl was sitting in the chair next to me. I looked over at her and she buried her face in her arms, her blonde hair falling around her like a fortress or a security blanket.
A man sitting on the opposite side of the room came over and picked up the little girl, kissing her on the top of her head as he swung her above his shoulders. He took her over to...
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The Woman Sitting Across From Me
As I sat down in my hospital gown, I noticed a small, fragile woman sitting in the corner. She was mid-conversation when I entered my second waiting room of the day. As I selected a magazine from a pile of tattered periodicals of yore, she proudly announced to those in the room that she had just turned 81. I smiled at her slightly and proceeded to a chair by the window. The woman who was most...
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There is nothing like
the anxiety I feel when I have to go in for another test with another doctor. “Isn’t it scarier not knowing?” Sometimes. Not always. If it would never have been an option, if it never would have come up, I wouldn’t have a reason to be anxious. This time, though, I’ll have to deal with the outcome of these tests alone. Something I’ve never had to do before....
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This is really happening?
This is really happening.
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WatchMansions - City Don’t Care
All that sound in the air. They just spit and they stare. I am lost, I know. Losing hope, barely there. And the city don’t care.
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did i burn the effigy?
that cube, the needles, the felt, the paper;
i didn’t. i couldn’t. she helped me. it burned inches from my face, then it was real. everything fell down and i regretted not walking out that door and leaving everything for what mattered to me. he told me not to regret. he told me that many times. he can’t tell me that anymore and here i am, regretting.
i’m so tired. this is...
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The year[s] of grieving:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
[6, etc. Recycle]
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Now I got no heart left, cause I put this off all...
My whole body hurts, like I have bruises that just never surfaced.
I’ve had a really dull, aching headache for the last month.
I feel constantly nauseous and it’s been hard to garner any real appetite.
It’s hard for me to sleep for very long.
I’m trying, even though I’m not sure how or even where to begin.
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Jen
So my college roommate lives (near) Pittsburgh now. She and I lived together for 3.5 years (one semester in Verder Hall at Kent State and 3 years in an apartment in East Akron). We saw each other through a lot. We fought and got frustrated with each other, we let each other down, we hurt each other. We laughed and cried and learned. Even when we don’t talk for a long time, it seems like...
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Tonight:
Dinner with S.
Craft store (with S?)
Finish sewing curtains for kitchen
Bath with 8 million or more bubbles
Ice Cream
Sappy movies
Try to sleep
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Places to go in 2012:
Chicago
Austin
Coachella
San Francisco (many, many times)
Kentucky
New York City
Catalina Island
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